2018 bye bitches.jpg

First off, I do want to say thank you. Because I am TRULY grateful for all I have learned and gained, my evolution and my insights and realizations. My growth and progress and knowledge. It has been a year of leveling up, serious trial by fire.

There has been so much more, but 2018 has been the hardest 365 days of my life. This is the biggest truth. 2018 taught me how hard I can fight. It taught me when I feel like I’ve been knocked down, I can find more strength. It is crazy amazing what I can withstand and come back prepared for the next wave, even when I didn’t know if I could.

2018 taught me what unconditional love looks like, and what it looks like and feels like when you are fighting for yourself but mostly for someone else. Especially when they are not able or not choosing to fight.

To feel the roaring waves of anger of passion of desperation for survival. And yet to show up in the rest of my life at work, for others. To clean my house, to get groceries.

I have been told that I need to fight for this one - the beauty and the truth and the promise are so great that I can’t have it for free. I have to pay. And pay I have.

But I don’t know if it’s been paid yet. The unknowing keeps me ready for battle, yet it seems at times unrelenting and it takes deeper digging to get through the next level.

So I am gearing up. Exploring - what do I need for this next round?

Grateful for all you have done to prepare me, 2018.

I welcome you, 2019.